I am always seeing sick people. They're all sick for different reasons. Some of them are victims of confusion and despair; others, quiet loneliness. All of them have one thing in common: they don't know what their cure is, and they're so resigned to that notion that eventually they stop trying.

It's like how they train elephants in circuses. When they first separate the young from its parents, they use a thick iron chain that a little newborn elephant could never possibly break. For a few days, it tries and tries to break free, and then it gives up. This carries on to its older years where the only thing needed to restrain it is a thin fiber rope - even though the elephant could easily snap it with enough force, it has given up before it has even tried due to the mental conditioning it recieved in the past, and therefore does not even attempt to escape.

This same theory applies almost directly to many people. Maybe not to the same extent- there are few people who will suffer something as intense as lifelong captivity and abuse- but the core issue remains. Why do we, as a race, see fit to harm and inflict our will upon others so strongly? To sow the seeds of discord? We are right now the pinnacle of evolution. Such transgressions should have been written out of the rule book a long time ago. They're the things spreading the sickness to others. An eye for an eye. Vengeance. What we're seeing today is everything adding up.

For all of my short life i've always been somewhat of a diplomat - at least, i've tried to be. There have been many instances where i've failed, and with disastrous results, but most of the time I am quite skilled at keeping the peace. Whether anyone actually values my input in that regard, i'll never know. Avoiding conflict is something i'm good at, and i'm usually extremely wary about any situations that might illicit negative responses from other people. (I'm not a worrywort, nor am I afraid of taking risks, though. Haha.)

People oftentimes think i'm a pushover, or that I "have no spine" because I greatly dislike fighting over my own opinion. I never - hardly, anyway - attack others for their opinion, and it agitates me when I am attacked for mine. That's why I rarely express my opinion. Even when someone asks me for it I try to beat around the bush. Unfortunately, the fact that I don't make my feelings known mean that people judge me, and make accusations about things they really don't know about. Is it my fault that people don't respect me in that regard? I stand up for myself when I need to. I don't waste time enforcing my opinion or beliefs on others - some people make that seem like a requirement for backbone. Maybe i'm around the wrong kinds of people.

I think in the end that's what I really want. Peace for me and everyone involved. Everyone everywhere. It's said that there are many ways of reaching peace. I think that if those ways cause harm while trying to achieve peace itself, it's like taking a step backward.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.